Walking Through the Shadows: A Letter to a Sad Friend

I don’t know what you are going through and I can’t claim to understand my friend. I don’t know how much you have suffered; I don’t feel what you are feeling; and I can’t evaluate the intensity of all the punches you have received from life just because you woke up to a new day. However, one thing I am too sure of is that you are alive and for this reason, I know that whatever you are going through is time-bound and in its time, it will pass. My friend it will pass.

The biggest mistake you can make when responding to a painful situation is to think the situation is peculiar to you – to believe its some sad fate designed just for you. Giving in to that thought, is like giving up on the grace you enjoy as someone who the Kings of Grace died for. Worst things have happened to you, to me and to the engineer who coupled the device you are reading this article on. Pain is a natural course of life; sorrow comes; joy comes – each has its time. Would you give up just because sorrow is having its time?

My concern is that you don’t give up so soon; that you don’t drop your weapons in a haste to run away from pain. You have what it takes to have at least a fighting chance. You have what it takes to turn your pain to gain. I wish that you would believe this because I know it’s true. You don’t see it because you have dwelt so much on all that has gone wrong in your life. What about the good things that have happened to you?

Life! Life! Life! What is life? Really think about that for a while. What is life but a period of pains and gains; of downs and ups; of sorrow and joy? Each of these experience, it’s a king overwhelming in power but not of control – only you can give them control over you. You cannot change the nature of this game called life, but you can determine how you want to respond to the fouls you were penalized for and the goals you scored during the play.

Who ever told you life is smooth has lied to you. The geometry of life has more of curves than straights. When you woke up healthy this morning, somebody else arrived this day with a condition so sad it is even too painful to think about. Every day is a challenge; this is good for your mind and your body. A challenge, when faced with austerity and conquered, is like a new strand of a bird’s feather, it can only make you soar higher and last longer in the sky.

There are two ways to look at the sad things that happen to you. You can either see them as a bunch of bad fate that is packaged to make you fail or you can see them as a chain of experience designed to make you stronger. What will it be for you? Do you want these experiences to have both power and control over you? What makes you give up without a good fight? How do you want to live your life? What hope is there for you to let pain take charge of you?

Do you want to take control of how you respond to the sad part of life? I am sure you do. Try the exercises below

1.      Close the pathways of sadness in your life

What are those things or people that consistently make you sad? Pick up a pen and list them. List as much as you can. Thereafter, group them into those you can cut off and those you really can’t cut off.

Now for those you can cut off, take proactive steps to let them go no matter what it will cost you. Remember nothing is worth more than your happiness.

For those you can’t cut off, start finding a way to reduce your dependence on them.

If it is about the lack of money, find away to manage the little you have and to increase your income. You can take up a part-time job or go into a trade no matter how small. What skills or passion do you have that you can turn into a money maker?

If it is about friends, start working becoming on independent from them for anything. If you are lonely, make new acquaintances. Define your relationships with such people. Give them just a space in your life.

If it is about some mistakes in the past, start doing as much good as you can do. Help more people, visit orphanages, advise less experienced people, talk to God to forgive your past – talk to Him, he will answer. He is a merciful God.

2.      Leave your bed with as much energy as you can muster

Talk to God each morning. Thank Him genuinely for another new day. Tell Him what you want for the day. Say some wonderful things to yourself as yourself. Shout out the following after your prayers

i.                    I am happy. God! I am just so happy

ii.                  Wow! Today is going to be a great day!

iii.                I am wonderfully made! Oh my God! I am so beautiful, so confident, so successful!

iv.                I have so much love around me

v.                  Thank you Lord!

vi.                My God is right beside me!

3.      Determine to leave each person you see that day a happier and better person

Go out and smile so well to each person you meet. Let your love for people overwhelm you. Let love rule you. Become genuinely interested in people. Play with as much people as you can play with. Laugh as much as you can. Let your guard down. Give as much as you can to people in need.

Refuse to be defensive. When people hurt you, forgive them immediately and forget about the incidence. Blame it on their ignorance. Pity people who knowingly hurt you, they are only victims caught up in web of selfishness.

4.      Set out to achieve what you left undone.

You can increase your chances of happiness by simply doing something about that thing you have left undone for a while. Set up to achieve little things. It could be a call to someone that has offended you in the past. It could be fixing something in your room, relationship, car or studies. It could be any other task you bailed out on. Just do something to get a little forward!  

In all, happiness and sadness are states of the mind. Your mind is yours alone and you can decide what gets into it or to you. To round up this piece, let me lend an ancient but anonymous quote:

“I don’t give up when I am walking through the shadows, because light is somewhere around the corner”

May God engrave this message in your heart and may He also empower you to put to practice what it preaches.

To your success!

Larry

P.S

Here is a list of positive emotions – I will strongly advise that you let those occupy you as much as you can. I will also list the negative ones, I am sure you know what to do with them

POSITIVE EMOTIONS: Happiness, Love, Confidence, Gratitude, Positive Thoughts, Empathy, and Faith.

Negative emotions: Anger, Sadness, Hatred, Envy, Regrets, Greed, Doubt, and Fear.

Badoo Babes No Dey Gree

You got chatting with a lady. All goes well. So much fun and laughter. You are happy because she smiles at your joke. You start believing you are funny. She seems very interested in you. First is your real name, then where you live and then the big question "what you do for a living?". You are honest. She seems interested and sincerely so.The tory continue like that for days and one day you check in and be like "whats up" and she is like " i am not having a good day, or i am sad...or dont worry lets just chat maybe i will get better". Ok.

Being a nice guy, you keep persisting. I want to know. Please let me know what is bothering you (you don enter kasala be that). You really want to know, like seriously? You don eat the hook plus sinker be dat. O boy! Of course you keep chatting all the same and then they hit you with it. "I got this textbook, handout, academic tour....blah blah blah... i need to buy. Sincerely, you don't have money and you are concerned...na there the scam start. O boy. As a sharp guy, you are like why not tell your parents about it...i mean i wish i cud help. She is like "they already gave me the money but i spent it on something". Ok then you sympathized with her as par good guy.

"So what do we do about it?" You asked, wishing you knew what to do and she is like "just forget about it, let me just spend some time alone" Na there the chat end. Next time if you view your messages log, you go see account has been deleted. One even asked me after 5 days of meeting, "what did you say you do for a living?" I had told her i was into business consulting but after the textbook issue, i had to tell her i help small and medium businesses look for grant and set up their businesses. The two they different but u no go understand.

Has anybody, whether guys or gal, had a similar experience? Please share.

Loving is Crazy: A True Tale

Being crazily in love with someone is crazy but it is rewarding. Ok you saw this person and you thought, “I wish you were mine and mine only”. Then you realised that no matter how much you long for them, they are just not into you. O boy! You don enter wahala be dat. The next few days after that, nothing seems to matter... you are crazy about getting on a date with them. You dream of an opportunity to be with them and pray for the right words to describe how much they mean to you.

I have been there. I once came close to running mad for a woman. She drove everything in me insane. If it was necessary, am sure I would have been able to dance naked on the street for her. Was she beautiful? Not as you would think. She was plain but she was perfect for me. After weeks of horning my conversation skills, I went after her. The first task was to know where to meet her. I had bumped into her on a show. I think I paid about $75 for that show. It was somewhere in Abuja and I had spent that much because my favourite entertainer was to show up.

The moment I laid my eyes on her by the ticketing stand, I knew I had got another show running. I traced her to her seat and had to exchange ticket with another sharp dude who knew a brother in need. I spent the 3 hours of the show, taking in every part of her and apparently ignoring my entertainer when he came on stage. I never knew I had detective skills but by the time the show was over, I could tell the way she packed her hair, her facial expression when she laughed, felt uneasy, took interest in a story, or got distracted. It was a rewarding experience as I am sure I made quite a good use of my brain trying to figure out hundreds of ways to get her to notice me. 

Anyways, I had to stalk her to her home, took note of the address, and decided to try a safer stalking the next day. Man! How much of our faculties we use when we are crazily in love?

Well as I was saying, getting to meet her was a hurdle I invested so much of wits to manoeuvre. I bribed a friend to her guard, appeased a friend of hers, and bought her brother some unnecessarily expensive whisky at Cubana. Eventually, the day came and I was tongue-tied. The object of my love (infatuation) was just before me and I couldn’t find the right set of words. I stuttered, and couldn’t get my eyes to look at her. I was so powerless before her. It was getting stupid.

Thinking about it now, I know I wasn’t shy. I just had so much reverence for her that I couldn’t risk saying the wrong thing. She was looking over me. I could tell she found me interesting but it was in a way that says, “What could this guy possible have to say to me for going so far to meet me?” One of those freaks of nature played out and I remained grateful for it. Her handkerchief fell from her laps and as she bent down to pick it, she nodded the edge of the table. The result was an embarrassing scene of crashing cutleries and cups.

The event took her a little unaware and I could tell that it was her time to be uneasy. I rushed over to help her pick up the hand towel. Thereafter, I held her by her shoulders and inquired if she was all right. I took control of the situation and asked the waiters to come clean up. Once I felt a surge of confidence and I went straight to the point. Before long we were laughing. I told her how I met her and the crazy things I did to meet her. I told her about the guard. I told her of my offering to buy a drink for her brother at Cubana without knowing the cost, and almost getting kicked out of the lounge. She was laughing.

We ended up agreeing that we would be friends but the problem was that I never opened that bracket. We were friends, in fact two months later she introduced me to her teenage crush-turned-lover. This person treated her very sadly. He was always bullying her but she was in love with him. I was dying to squeeze his neck. I dreamed of a day when she would call and tell me her lover’s ship had been pulled into the Bermuda Triangle.

Well last night, I got a call from her. She was crying. She said she had been foolish and blind. That she never grew over her crush and she was crazy to think he actually loved her. She was crazy, oh yeah! That is what love does to you. It makes you crazy.

What To DO When He is Taking Too Long To Propose

Do you want to know what to do about your man who is taking too long to propose marriage? Have you been dating for so long you even wonder sometimes whether the experience will be different from actually getting married? You look up to every special day hoping he will pop the question and place that diamond-studded ring around your finger, but special days just pass by and you are still very much single. Well here is some good news for you: in a few minutes I will not promise that you will be able to get him to propose, but I can assure you that you will know exactly what to do to make him consider proposing to you a top priority.

1. Make marriage his next big goal

Men are driven by the desire to achieve something - anything - that feels right. Most matured single men remain single because there are goals they are yet to achieve that seems far more important than marriage. It could be wealth, self-realisation, fame, education, status, good looks, loads of girlfriends, etc. As long as that goal remains the top priority, they will remain distracted and find it very hard to consider 'settling down'. So your job here is to gradually make marriage his goal. Take him to visit your happily married mutual friends, invite him for couples' programme at your place of worship, visit amusement parks where you have a lot of parents and children catching fun, invite him to as much wedding as you can - just do anything to give him a picture of what both of you are missing staying single.

2. Make sure he understands that marrying you will be less bondage than he fears

You can achieve this by trying not to hold on to him too much. Men like to be free. Sometimes, it is the fear of being held and controlled by one woman that scares many men away from marriage. Your man should see you as a woman he can marry and still enjoy sufficient freedom. Don't fall into the temptation of trying to make him a better man by blackmailing him out of doing everything that is bad that he has been doing before you came. Don't cut him off from his bad friends - they have been their always and they have shared his good and bad moments with him. Don't try to keep him away from his family - especially his mom and sisters - they were his first love. Make sure your coming around doesn't come with a drastic twist of his freedom to relate with others or do the things he enjoys doing. Yes you might be doing it for his safety, but most times men prefer you fight for their happiness and not their safety - usually, they know how to protect themselves.

3. Try to build a consistent good nature

One thing that almost every guy is scared of, is getting married to a strange woman. There have been stories about good-girl-gone-bad after marriage. Some men go as far as testing their woman using several tools and methods to find out if they are steady or shaky (women do this too - more than men am sure). So I will advise that while you worry why he is not popping the question, work on building a stable and desirable nature.

4. Make your presence home to him

Men are as free as birds, yet while they hover around the sky they remain conscious of the location of their nest. One thing I can assure is that if you make yourself a home to your man, he will want to spend all his days around you. So you have to aim for attitudes that can make you homely, happy and hopeful. Make him happy every time he comes around you. Inspire him with hope for a brighter future by the peaceful life you live. Make your presence feel like home to him. Assure him by your unconscious actions that your presence will always be a home to him.

5. Keep reminding him that you are proud of him

The problem with some women is that they always want to remind their man of how much he still needs to do to impress them. However, it is important to reduce the scale of what impresses you for your man and to avoid holding unto thoughts of comparisons with more successful guys talk more of voicing such thoughts. Find something good about anything he has or is into, and make sure you let him know you are proud of that. He could be waiting to be able to impress you and your family before he can ask for your hand in marriage! For all I know, that could take years and both of you are not getting any younger. So sometimes, it helps to lower your expectation and be truly proud of the man you have. He must sense that you know he is good enough for you.

This will do for now. Remember practice is what brings result and not knowledge. I hope this article has helped you. Please tell me if it has or say something in the comment box to teach others.

To the success of your engagement! Call me when he proposes (+23407011210560, 08187731113)

Five Things You Should stop Doing to Win Back Your Ex

I have tried these five things to no avail. I was curious so i asked a couple of friends who had attempted to win back their ex, the response was same.

1. Wishing things could come back to normal
For your ex to be your "ex" something went down badly. The opportunity to make things right could be lost. He or she probably has moved on and met someone that has done better than you ever did. Its time to wake up and let it go. Even if you eventually succeeds in getting him or her back, i doubt you could ever make it so right, except of-course he or she is still much available and willing as much as you to get things back to normal

2.Working hard to get him or her jealous
Forget those good old tricks of trying to hang around her with your new found 'arrangee date'. You can only piss them off the more. Jealously works, is just that it doesn't make things right again, it just makes your ex feel you are still that same boastful-am-ok-with-myself type.

3. Tailing your spouse
It is really time to move on. It is both sad and selfish to keep pressing things. Tailing him or her makes you look too desperate and even if you succeed in winning them back, you would have lost all the edge in the relationship

4. Feeling so sorry for yourself
This wont help you. He or she is gone, what can you do? Instead of feeling too sorry for yourself, why not work on what made things go bad and see if you can find someone else? You can't get him or her back by sleeping away your social time in worry.

5. Staying lonely
It is time to try to hang out and be free of worry. You need to go out there and find someone to make you happy and feel cherished. One way to get going is to seek happiness again. If things were meant to be, you cant change it. But the closest way to get really worked up not having your ex around is staying lonely.

Now you have the five, let me mention that, anything you do to be happy is worth it but be careful not to rob yourself of the chances of being happy again chasing shadows.

So what do you guys thing? Drop your comments! We are all learning.

The Journal of a Love-Stricken Teen

Love-Bird Guide Series has published her first edition and volume in the dating series! Be sure to grab it on kindle immediately.

Newly moved-in 19-yr old Kenny stumbles upon Cindy who takes his breath away at sight. He does what every other teen his age couldn't do; gets a smack for that and gave up...

Just when all was to be history, he discovers that destiny still had so much in stock for both love-birds. With Cindy's rocky brother, a competitor, an envious mutual friend and a social class gap as obstacles, Kenny, armed only with a half-broken love-stricken heart embarks on a remarkably hilarious love trip...

The Journal of a Love-Stricken Teen

REVEALED! STRICTLY FOR GIRLS : HOW TO ENCOURAGE A SHY GUY TO COME FOR YOU WITHOUT SEEMING CHEAP

You have probably been in a situation where you notice some shy guy you are attracted to has interest in you, but is denying you the opportunity to know him because he has got no balls to come after you. You are there, doing everything within your powers to make him feel free to come around and because you cant risk being cheap you let the shy guy decide what happens to your mutual attraction; unfortunately, he couldn’t get his legs to do its job – much later you path way with each of you going back home very sad and unfulfilled. I can imagine how really frustrating it can be. But what if I tell you that you can save yourself the hassle and win a chance to go home happier when next you are faced with a similar situation? What if I can show you how you can get that spineless dude to act?

First some home truth...
A shy guy will never make the first move; it is even impossible for him to try when there is no form of encouragement. When a guy is shy by nature, he becomes a coward by culture...he leaves his fight, not to fight another day. Shy guys are experts at bailing out, so if you think he will soon muster some courage and come for you, you had better think again.

You might also be the problem. Maybe your countenance is getting him worked up or nervous. You might not know this but your body language could be the guarding beast against his visit. You don’t expect a shy guy to come over for a drink when you are non-verbally telling every guy around (including the bold ones) to stay clear or risk getting a (B**ch) bite!

He is use to letting go so you stand to loose more than he does. For years he (the shy guy) has mastered living with letting go a woman that ‘tickles him fancy’. You are not the first and you are sure not going to be the last. Soon he will encourage himself with some expectation of a future custom-made soul mate, who both her and providence will make it easier for him to approach her. But what if you can make today that future?

You need to encourage the first few lines of your conversation if he eventually turns up. He is already embarrassed coming over to you, it can only turn out bad if he cant even communicate with you. So you have to help the both of you, have a good conversation, when it is time. Respond to his questions and ask him one that doesn’t just require a “Yes or No”. Smile at his efforts to make a joke or interest you, show him he is trying but don’t let him know you are flattering him, otherwise he will feel you are probably trying to help his pitiable situation – you don’t want that, trust me!

Those said, we can get down to the subject matter....

Avoid looking too much at him
Try not to look at him too much; it might get him over excited and itchy. You might have been doing this before to show him that you have his attention but I have counselled so many shy guys who admit that the habit is a big scarecrow for them. They seem to think, the girl is just trying to give them some undeserved attention.

Free up yourself
Just as I will advice you isolate yourself externally, you need to do same internally. The shy guy needs to know that when he eventually musters the courage to come over to you, he won’t be clashing with other things that have your interest already. Let your body language preach that you are free and very accessible – he must not suspect that you are bothered or over excited; he must believe that you need a companion and that you don’t mind who is willing to help out.

Pay an indirect attention to him
It could be sending a bottle of drink his table, notifying him of something out of place in his dressing or sending him a note requesting that you wanted to ask him something. Now you have to be very careful with this. Once he senses you are doing that because you are some attention-sick freak-ress, he might give in to his shyness and excuse his withdrawal for your being too cheap.

Isolate yourself
The more people you have around you, the less the possibility of him coming over. So you need to isolate yourself; get outside for a fresh air while looking at him appreciatively just as you pass by (wink at him if you can on your way outside); or you can get closer to his side of the room, leaving your friends and admirers behind. Or you can even....

Go over to him
Yes! The straight and short way out of all this is to go over to him. The saying goes that if Mohammed refuses to go to the mountain, the mountain will definitely come over to him – since He must pray. Also a highly regarded proverb in Africa, advices the hunter to learn to shoot without aiming once the bird starts flying without perching. You might not necessarily, do this to ask him out; however, you can start up a conversation with questions like “So why are so shy? Could you buy me a drink? Why are you sitting out here alone? Or Are you as bored as I am? etc.” The idea is to take the bull by the horn.

HOW TO STOP YOUR MAN FROM CHEATING: The Very Weird but Very Workable Way

Any man can cheat for any reason – you can even find those who do it just for fun; but for most men; cheating on their spouse is a game – a game of wits, smartness and a tussle of freedom…then you have those that are just being stupid! Now gals, you are most-def going to learn the how from this piece – it is not every day you get to read stuffs like this from a former chronic cheat, who at a point was a spouse to a devoted woman and yet had dozens of women to make out with!

This piece is more like a testimony than it is a self-help article but by the time you are through with it, you must have learnt some of the world’s most guided secrets of proactive seduction and vengeful persuasion. Now you don’t have to believe any of my recommendations; just try them out, after all: if they fail, your guy still remains a cheat (no offense intended) – at least you got a chance.

But let me warn you and probably help you with a resolution I stumbled upon on the internet: “the truth is that there is really nothing you can do to stop your man from cheating. No matter how much you fret or check up on him, if a man wants to cheat, he will”. Now I guess you are wondering, ‘so, why the title; a hype?’ Not really; what most women do is to tell (and they usually have so many ways of doing this) their men to stop cheating on them. This hardly helps matters for these guys just go on and do the opposite! So the tips in this article are a little out of the ordinary but they worked against me; not only am I now devoted to my woman, I’m working towards helping women like you curb guys like the former me.

The first thing you need to do is: let your man know you are aware he is cheating on you; and that you can’t waste a puff for that. The urge to cheat is promoted by deception and the desire to deceive; when he knows you know and don’t mind, he can only last a while as a cheat. Especially when he can’t figure out what is cooking up in your mind. Some guys, at this point, will start thinking you are even into the game with them and the fear of the unknown will eventually freak them out and into paying more attention to; and guide you more closely. But hey, you need to see the red button on this: If he thinks rather that you are just being weak or scared of opposing him; then you have yourself a situation. You must convince him you don’t really care; both for what he is doing and for what he thinks about your indifference.

The next tip is a little bit weird. I say: if you know his fields, go there and plant mines that will discourage his team mates from running around with him. For instance; if he sleeps around with women at his place of work; plant a rumour in his block that he is HIV positive or has some very scary STDs. Make sure he can’t trace this rumour to you, then sit back and watch; in fact people around will start pitying you and his mates will fly for their lives. You can also get contract seductress to lure him, and scare the hell out of his life. She can blackmail him against someone he fears, or another who respects him or even an institution he might be scared to show that aspect of his life to. When all this gets on his nerves he will run to you and hold on; as you are supposedly the only woman who can protect him. Be glad to welcome him like a prodigal son!

Now you know he is a cheat; the next thing is for you to find out why he is cheating on you. Are you denying him something; or is he just insatiable? Are his friends responsible for this? Could you tell if he had always been like that – may be you knew but decided to manage him, hoping you will change him? Is he trying to get your attention; or is he drowning in the much you are providing? Or worst still is he just a perpetual cheat…an uncommitted brute? Whatever; when you find out why, stop everything you are doing that had encouraged or is encouraging his habit.

10 FANTASTIC QUESTIONS THAT CAN SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

Have you ever wondered why things aren’t going the way they should or the way you expected when you decided to hook up with your spouse? I mean, it’s been like ages since you saw the sun rise on your hitherto rosy, perfectly romantic relationship…or maybe it was never that good, and you can’t just place your fingers on the WHY! Do you find it hard to point out where things started off wrong, and even when you seriously wish it all goes back fine, you find your hands so tied you can’t even make any move? If you do, then you need to stick your eyes on your screen for a few minutes more…I think I can help you with some good tips.

First, I need you to ask yourself the following questions:

1. What got me into this relationship?
2. Why was I so convinced I could get the above from this relationship?
3. What was I willing to share with or sacrifice for my spouse when I decided to hook up with him or her?
4. How much have I done to fulfill these things in 3 above?
5. What do I want from my spouse now?
6. What does my spouse want from me now?
7. Does my spouse have what it takes to give me what I want now?
8. Do I have what my spouse wants from me now?
9. Have I told my spouse what I want from him or her presently?
10. Does my spouse know what I want from him or her presently?

You don’t have to rush these questions, just be sincere with yourself and get the answers written down.

However let me point out that you need a more defined answer for each question, for instance in the first question; it will not be helpful to say you got into your present relationship because of ‘love’ – I tell you almost everybody do or at least – think they do! You need to define instead, what you thought finding love will do for you.

The second item on my menu is a simple task;

I need you to send a copy of these questions to your spouse, tell them your purpose first and then, invite them to discuss your answers and theirs with you. You will be surprised at how much you never knew about yourselves and very possibly, you could set a stage for a better and more matured relationship with your Romeo or Juliet.

Good Luck Guys and Gals!

FOUR NIGHTMARES THAT CAN KEEP A WOMAN AWAKE FOR NIGHTS

1. She: “Is my bikini Beautiful, Musa?”
Almost every woman will rather choose to wake up from a Dracula nightmare and meet Obasanjo giggling beside her in bed than not hear her man tell her how cute she looks, after she had done well to make him wonder at how lucky he is to have a woman with her looks. Some guys self????? They are just too blunt; they can’t feel it and they can’t even see it. She needs you to tell her she is beautiful; she probably spent hours at the mirror…she didn’t mind – it was all about you, her man and baby. Then you come up just mopping or probably pretending not to see what God had placed in your hands, until she had to ask for your opinion!

2. Emeka: “But I love you more than I love her!”
Some women can get their hearts “jacked” with the faintest thought of sharing their man. Any woman (not sure of Muma G oh!) could share their makeup kit and even wears; some can even give up their jewelry to an enemy; but very few (if they exists at all) can bear the thought of borrowing their man even to a sister – whether of the womb or in the lord; talk more of share him. However, when shit happens – like it always does, (a) they rather pretend it never did, (b) decide not to believe, (c) better still, believe it won’t happen again or (d) more complicated, all of the above. Those options are better (for some) than accepting they are sharing their man – a very scary fate. It doesn’t change much even when you try to get to understand how much better you love them.

3. Jude: “Baby! [Yes!], You don’t cook well”
Somebody once told me that you could make a fantastic cook out of a woman-concoctionist (need the word for a second please) if you just find something good to say about her pot art, which would normally pass for a poison-of-a-meal. Now, I have observed that irrespective of an infamous disposition towards the pot and its content, no woman wants to be labeled a bad cook. I don’t think you want to keep telling her how bad she cooks. You don’t want her thinking that living with you was a nightmare, do you?

4. Brother: “Sister please Meet Mr. Wrong”
Meeting Mr. Right use to be something of an obsession for girls; In fact, back then when women were girls, any girl could describe to you a digital picture of her dream dude even if she had just been woken up. They are very good at that – just as they as so bad at meeting Mr. Wrong. If you just said “Permit me to introduce you to Mr. Wrong!” and then peep into her mind to see what was cooking, you will almost knock over a portrait with lucifer’s horns, Busta’s Mouth, Mr. Beans eyes, Great Khali’s leg, Mr. Ibu’s belly…I mean you could just bump into a beast in her mind when she hears you say Mr. Wrong; even if you had mentioned wrong without the ‘r’. Funny enough some girls grow up still having the “my-prince-to-the-rescue’s” picture in their mind.

Why I called It Quit with Debie, My Fiancee

Sometimes it is difficult to let go someone you love but what if you had enough reasons to? Or what if someone thinks you don't, after you did? Read this short story and tell lovebirdsguide what you think.


Debie was everything I could ever ask for in a woman. But that was what I thought few years ago when we met in U/rimi Kaduna. It was at a friend’s book launch. It wasn’t long before our relationship steamed up. We had all the good times couples with our means could afford, but little did I know that it was all going to end so soon. For starters, I am the commitment-type of guy and I respect relationships a lot.

I thought that attitude would keep us flying, since she was also in for the relationship (or so I thought). We got down to real business months later when I told her I wanted to settle down and raise a family with her. A couple of weeks before I engaged her I discovered she had taken in even though we hadn’t seen each other in a long while.

When I asked her how she got the ‘life’ forming in her stomach, she told me she was raped two months before. I was shocked! She hadn’t told me of the incidence before then and I thought that was very unusual; we always shared our bad and good. However, I tried to excuse her silence on her unstable mind. She told me it happened while she was in school and that the boys were cultists. I was sad and guilty. She must have gone through hell. I kept biting my conscience especially when I didn’t share her pains with her. So we decided on what to do – we agreed to keep the baby but not until she had ran some tests.

Life continued as usual until one very sad day. I woke up happy and feeling good; she was about 6 weeks pregnant. I never knew the day was going to be a nightmare. When I got a call from a colleague at work, who had just been promoted, to attend his emergency thanksgiving party I looked forward to a happier day. The party was to hold in his family house very close to the Obalande slum – a popular hangout for sex workers in Kaduna.

That evening, I drove with Kelechi – my club mate – to the venue. On our way there we decided it was going to be a good idea to stop close by for a drink. We got to a bar, just adjacent the obalande main street and that was when I saw a sight I still can’t believe wasn’t a dream. My honey and fiancée-in-wait was hovering over a small but rich-looking Alhaji. The world and even the gulp of cold Heineken flowing down my throat stood still. I spitted some drink and pointed towards her like a child who just saw a ghost.

“KC...KC”, I called looking for the right word.

“What’s that; why did you spit out your drink like that?” He asked embarrassed. I didn’t have to answer that as he followed my fingers and as his eyes settled on the target; he dropped his glass so had the owner of the bar had to shout
“Make una no Break my cup oh!”

“Williams, isn’t that your Fiancée?” It was his turn to shout.

I didn’t have an answer to his question; I stood up and walked towards the two. My honey was three-quarter necked and she clang to the Alhaji as though if he left her for her peers, she would drop dead that night.

KC called on me to come back, but that was what I thought he was saying; I couldn’t even hear the flow of my breath. I didn’t even know what I was going to do when I met the two. Few steps before them, she turned and the fear in her eyes was in itself scary.
“Baby!” She shouted.

“Baby!!” I was just walking towards her and before she shouted my pet-name the third time, she fainted. The Alhaji slipped into his Xj jaguar and zoomed off. I rushed to pick her up; as I held her in my arms I knew it would be the last time to feel her soft skin. KC came to join me and we drove her back to my apartment. She was ok before we got home but we couldn’t discuss the shock. I woke up the next morning and that was when I knew it was never going to work between us. I called off the engagement; I called it quit.

What Women want: Find this out and rule your world

Two nights ago in a snooker club, while on a blackball-chase with Jumoke, my snooker-freak friend, she told me she is a tripper for pointed-nosed and bright-eyes guys and wouldn’t mind if they haven’t got any other thing to flaunt. “Larry, you see, I don’t mind if they are physically built or not, especially if he is free-minded”, she said taking a cushion shot. It was all about the guy that played before we did; he was her perfect man. As we drove back home that night, after she whopped me on 4-balls, I wondered what women really wanted. Especially when I had met women who are ready to go to the ends of the world with you even if you as broke as the proverbial church rat. Then it is quite common to find others who wouldn’t return a smile if it is not coming from your jaw-dropping-cost blings or if your car wouldn’t stir a “look at that!” Then you have my fiancée who would go crazy if I don’t get her a stalk of rose on my way home any day, even if I tried to bribe her with a bottle of her best Champaign; and my Sister-in-law has an obsession for a listening ear. It all makes me wonder what women really wanted. Is there a single-all-inclusive want for every woman? You would ask, if you were me. Yes? No? Well not now, just read on. Let me first say that the heart of a woman is deep, unstable, hence, very unpredictable; however, every woman you see around can’t deny she needs certain things.

Attention
The foremost need of most women is “attention” and if you meet this need, she will be spell-bound to you. A natural woman could do anything to get the attention of her man, when she really needs it. It is an important need because, to her, it is a measure of her worth in his eyes; she wants his world to revolve around her. It is one need she can never get satisfied of; in fact, the urge increases with time- so long as she is in love with you. This doesn’t really means she would want you around her all the time, but when you are not there, she needs to be assured she is hung around your neck where ever you go. She wants to know you are always there; and that you can expend your time on her.

Jealous-devotion
Most women need their man to treat them like his a goddess; they want him to revere them and show them top-notch devotion and they will mind for anything less. I am not saying that women have domineering tendencies; but in as much as they can’t have you to themselves, they want you to show them you understand that they own you. You must have observed that a woman might condone it when you cheat on her but will find it difficult to stay with you if you make her feel you have the right to have any other woman beside her. This is because such position hurts their pride but they can live with your unfaithfulness if they know you still recognise the superiority of ownership they have over you.

Respect
I have hardly met any woman who don’t crave for her man’s respect; especially African and Asian ones. To most women, respect seats at the top of their ‘what women wants’ list. There is always that recognition of self-worth in every woman; except off course, she had traded hers to satisfy other ‘pressing’ needs. When a man respects his woman, he gives her a second thought each time his bubbles burst. For most women, respect is an important word in the language of love; so if you don’t respect them they, probably, aren’t flowing with whatever you are saying.

S.E.X
Then you have the controversial SEX. Yes! S.E.X; most women will give anything to get satisfactory sex from their lover. Though some are shy to accept this, they know it is the truth. Good sex creates a strong sense of fulfilment and self-discovery when it is shared with a special person. When she says ‘he makes me feel like a woman’; watch out, she might just be passing a message. I have seen so many marriages crash because somebody was ignorant of this simple truth about his woman; or probably was aware but decided to ignore it. In fact, researches have shown that why most women trip for the machos is because of the unspoken promise of good sex; for such women the bigger the better. Anyway I must say that this particular need is strictly ‘bi-sexual’.

Comfort
Another quite insatiable need of a woman is comfort. Every woman will go for a man who could make her comfortable all things being equal. This would mean that a woman will love it if her man can make her physically relaxed by providing her basic needs without having to put her through avoidable stress or pain. In Igbo land a woman will submit to you as a wife if she notices that you can provide for her; give her a roof over her head, feed her and her children, cloth her and meet most of her numerous (in fact countless) needs.

Protection
This brings me to another need that is infused into that of comfort; women wants protection and security. No woman wants to be stranded in life; theirs’ is an obsession. A woman likes to be sure of whatever she is going into. She also needs a man that can convince her that he knows where he is taking them to and even if things go wrong he will always be in charge. Besides, she wants to be sure that someone has got her back and that her man can protect her from anything; even those things she is sure is naturally above her.

and...
The list continues; you can’t have all of them now. But with the above listed needs you are good to go. However, watch out for others on my lovebirdsguide blogger site. But let mention that the basic needs of a woman isn’t the only thing to bother about; you also need to find out when they need them. It is important you know these because a great percentage of what determines your success in this phase of life could be tied around your success with the female folks. You can do some researches to verify this.

Good luck and fly high always!

HOW TO LET A GIRL, YOU JUST BUMPED INTO, KNOW YOU WANT HER WITHOUT EMBARRASSING YOURSELF OR HER

Its valentine and every body is getting hooked up or laid. There is so much love in the air; so much expectations...its the worst time to be lonely or to see who you want and not be able to get hold of them...everybody is celebrating love but to do this, you must first meet and claim love...most times its a within-a-jiffy thing, at other times you have all the time in the world but the 14th is just about 96hrs away! So I am reposting this article to give you an edge if you happen to bump into your dream girl soon...lets get down to business

Most girls will seriously consider you, if you can masterfully pass the “I want you” message to them. That is, if you can let them know how much you want them without making fusses of the art- without making either of you look stupid. Girls like men who are good communicators; guys who know what to say or do at the right time. Personally, I have observed that most guys that get an outright “No”, especially when they had just bumped into the girl, had such fate because someone was trying to save her face or the embarrassment. However, if you can spare the time to master certain skills of communication, you will maintain the winning side. So how...?

Well, first; YOU MUST BE CREATIVE:

Whenever you bump into a girl, who gives you some tickle, get out of sight and do some fast thinking. As long as you keep her in sight you might not be able to find a good starting line. Your mind will be occupied either with oh she is beautiful, Does she recognize me? Or I might embarrass myself. Once out of sight, tail her- you know that old teenage game? Yes follow her, even if you have to change your route or wait on her. Take the time and study her; observe something special about her or her looks. It must be spectacular or you find a way to make it seem spectacular. After all, we all can decide what is spectacular to us- it’s a perception thing.

Then; PLAN AN ENTRY STRATEGY:

You remember the high school crash style- where the boy crashes into the girl, spills her books and helps her pick them up, while showing up his nicest self and playing the eye game? It still works; it’s one great entry strategy and I don’t know its inventor, but I admire it. Anyway, in the real world you might get smacked if you pull that kind of stunt- especially when most people move around either hungry or angry these days. But you can develop a strategy for yourself; try it out a couple of times and see how it works, then develop it.

For instance, in my by-the-roadside strategy; I walk up to the Sweetie with an I-don’t-know-the-way-and-I-am-lost face and ask for the way to a Block very close by- but out of sight. I act more confused as she describes the place until I get her to spare some time to at least take me towards a pointing distance. Once I can secure that, the rest is history. Sometime I would spend the short walk appreciating her help and saying something striking about that spectacular thing I observed in her, at other time, I could cook up a story of how I once got lost and almost got into trouble in another corner of the town. Anyway, I don’t give up myself or plans, rather the sincerity of my gratitude and the fuelling passion in me, always made me very convincing. You can take time to develop a strategy for yourself. But remember that every plan must have its situation.

While on that, GET AS MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT HER AS POSSIBLE:

Tell her your name in such a way that she would be compelled to tell you hers. Don’t ask her directly! You could get an “I don’t think that will be necessary” or more politely, “Sorry, I don’t think that will be necessary”. If you had succeeded in getting her to do you a favour, like in the instance above then be sure she will be ready to path with you on a good note. She wants to prove to you that she is as friendly and helpful as she had portrayed when she offered to help you. About her contact, it might be difficult to get her address, except off course the Chemistry is mutual, but you can get her number if you play smart. I remember once, after setting up a favour from a lady, I said, “If you don’t mind, you can save me a lot of guilt. I will remain guilty and indebted to you, if I don’t call you up later to say thank you.” If she is more receptive I can even ask “Do you mind if I check you up when next I come around here, at least to show some gratitude”. More often than not, I get an affirmative- maybe is my faith, maybe I have been lucky. Whatever; it doesn’t hurt if you try -who knows you might just get lucky.

Oh yes! you will need to BREAK UP THE TENSION:

Most people love to have a smooth conversation with people they just met- you know; the kind of talk you hear in the movies. Where every word, expression and gesture just fits in. It creates ease; offloading both parties of the natural tension when strangers meet. You can say something extraordinary and open-spirited- especially when it is least expected. She will love it when she can see through you; when she senses you are free-minded and warm. It assures her that she can find a friend in you, and then there is a possibility she would come to feel she has known you for years- a great achievement in whole game.

You might also need to TELL HER SOME SUSPENSEFUL HARD TRUTH:
When it is safe, tell her how much you hope to see her again. I will tell you when it is safe to do that; in fact, you will find out before the end of this paragraph but before that. Tell her, that there are so many other truths, about your meeting, you’d love to reveal to her but can’t, for then, as it might not be safe to that. Arose her curiosity; make her float in the anticipation of the unknown. Let her understand only enough to want to know more and I tell you, you will see the Eve in her. Hey! It’s not fool-prove: nothing is these days; but if it works, it will be magical. The worst anticipatable is that she will feign no-interest but you will have made a bold note in her already puzzled mind. About when it is safe to do this: do it when you observe you have not been a put-off and that she would rather excuse herself than embarrass you. We guys, we know when it is safe anyway. We just feel it. Right?

If you don’t want to be hooked then BUILD A FORMIDABLE EXIT PLAN:

Sometime the last impression sticks harder than the first, so try and make your exit strategy remarkable. We are in a busy world and most people are so. Soon, they forget how it all began. Also, when you showed up, you probably wasn’t worth listening to but a chat later, you earn the girls interest and she wants you to remind her of what you said earlier. She could be like, “sorry, what did you say your name was again?” or “I didn’t get your name”. It is like in a job interview: you have hope when someone in the panel asks for your name after the interview or in prospecting; when a prospective buyer asks for your business contact when you are through with your proposal, even though you had said it when you first walked into their office. Your aim here is to scribble a lasting impression on her mind as you take your leave.

Finally, the part I am always eager for: BUMP INTO HER AGAIN:

Yes! Plan a natural meeting again; especially when you couldn’t get her contact the first time. If you really are serious with the Mami, you will trail her and find out how you can stage another bumping into. Find out where she hangs out, works, shops, worships or/and passes time; then fix an unauthorized date with her. She won’t turn you down when you come over for some introductions; because then you will be coming as a closer stranger. However, if it doesn’t work out then, stage another one- soon she will start holding fate responsible. I wish you luck my guy!

How to seduce any girl in a jiffy - Simple things that can get her hooked up instantly

You can seduce any girl with little or no effort. The idea is to do things that will provoke her desire to have you and make her see the Mr. Right figure in you. I will show you simple things you can do to hook your dream girl.

1. Always appear appealing, unique and simple
Your appearance, including the way you are dressed and your charisma, speaks volumes of the kind of man you are. Girls love guys that pay attention to details in their attire. Most girls know that men like that do have special ways of doing other things including taking care of a woman and making love. A simple appearance could mean an easy-going person and this attribute can get most girls interested in you instantly.


2. Wear a calm and harmless countenance always- make her take you for a baby
Women want to believe you can be their baby- in fact most black women, for instance, call their “Man” “Baby”. Babies are known to be calm, harmless and even innocent. If a woman senses this attributes in you she will want to own you. Have you observed that girls normally like children a lot? They do this because they are always looking for whom to take care of. Let them know they can take care of you.


3. Speak to her eyes
Nothing freaks the girls most than what they see when they look into your eyes. When you are with a girl, you intend to seduce, maintain eye contacts with her but make sure you are saying something very romantic and passionate in your mind. Look into her eyes, think of how beautiful she is, imagine what she will look like in your arms, and visualize all the good that come with having her. Honestly; she will get the message- they just know how decipher such codes.


4. Offer a sincere hand of friendship
Most Guys are too conscious of sex and this is where they get it wrong. They want to meet a girl today, take her home tomorrow and make love to her the following day. Nobody wants to build a genuine friendship and see what comes up next. This puts off most girls- except the fun seekers though! So, when she senses you are different and mean well, she will open up to you. You can do this by approaching her honestly to either ask for something, pay a compliment, or gist her up, if she is in for that.


5. Talk naturally and if you can, with some humor
No need to change the way you sound; just try to be audible and clear. You need to be yourself. Pretence is a major put off for the girls; once they sense it you, they just lock up. Also, show some good sense of humor. You need to free her up as soon as you can, so she can stop talking to you as a stranger. Laugh at her jokes and make her see how good she is with conversation.


6. Use the right cologne
Science has proved that the sense of smell has a strong link with our perception of what is attractive or sexually stimulating. You can seduce most women by just smelling right, there are some perfumes and deodorants designed to help you do that. I stumbled into one of such products recently and it is available in my blog.



7. Listen attentively when she talks
Nothing tells a woman you respect and recognize the female folks better than listening attentively to them. This is a major turn-on for most girls. They are used to men, who only tell them what they think and would not care how they feel. So when they meet guys like you they want to know what makes you different- this is the hook.


8. Show her you are interested in her
If you talk to a woman in terms of her interest, she is more likely to believe you are caring. Enough of blabbing about what you have and how you can change her life; let her see you are interested in what happens around her. Ask her to tell you about herself; what she does, where she is from, her dreams, aspirations, fears, setbacks etc. If you do this smartly, she will open up to and know that you are kind.


9. Use creative ways to tell her some beautiful things about her
An honest compliment creatively delivered can sweep any woman off her feet into your arms. A woman wants to be told; she looks good, smells nice, or dresses great. Women love compliments so much that it lingers in their minds days after they receive them. They spend so much time to appear the way they do and so want to know it was not a waste of time. However, they could go haywire if you deliver your compliments creatively. For instance if you think her head scarf was done exceptionally beautiful don’t just say it, you can say something like “it is lovely looking at the way you did your scarf, if I was your man, I wouldn’t mind how much time you spend at the mirror”.



10. Set up an unforgettable parting-plan
You need to make your parting with her worthy of remembrance. Don’t just stand up and say “bye” or “see you some other time”. Depending on how close you were able to get, you can offer her a passionate hug, give a light peck; cheek to cheek or lips to cheek, or even ask her hand for a kiss.


In all you need to aim at making your meeting with her worth the time. Let it show in everything you do!

Why No Man Comes For You - Visible Things a Woman Does That Scare the Guys Away

The reasons why you don't have men coming for you are not too far from how you behave and the signals you give when they are around you. These might be the reason why you are still single today but if you want to give yourself a chance consider this article.

First, Men won't come for you if you think they are a nuisance
A lady who thinks men are just another torn in the flesh will unconsciously put up an unwelcoming countenance when she comes around the guys. Guys find it difficult to create chances with such ladies so they shy away to avoid the embarrassment.

Second, Men won't come for you if you are the abusive type
Every Man has pride and a big ego to deal with. No Guy will want to be insulted for trying to express their feelings. However, some can take the risk of approaching you when there are less people around; they will not go further if they sense any threat to their ego.

Third, Men won't come for you if you appear more expensive than they do
Except for certain men with other interests, most men will rather go for a woman they know they can take care of- not the other way round. Expensive cars, cloths and jewelries scare some men and make others feel so inferior.

Fourth, Men won't come for you if you have the wrong friends
Most men know that wrong friends can make their dream woman reject them. They understand that women find it easy to confide in their best friends. So once their friends rule them out, they know they are definitely losing out. Men like women with simple, social and free-minded friends.

Fifth, Men won't come for if you are not approachable
Many women lose out here. They make it very difficult for the men to chat them up or have a conversation with them. They get so blunt, arrogant and impatient that most times they miss the right guys.

Sixth, Men won't come for you if you don't look good
You don't have to have the Miss X looks. But it is important you look neat and simple when you go out there. I have met men who don't like sophisticated looks; they prefer the light, easy-beauty type of girls- I mean women with effortless beauty.

Seventh, Men won't come for you if you don't smell nice
Researches have shown that there is a connection between attraction and the human sense of smell. A very good-looking woman can turn a man off if she has an offensive body smell. On the other hand, you can seduce most men with just smelling dolly or just fine. Recently, a Perfume company took advantage of these findings and created a very seductive perfume that would twist the head of the opposite sex and keep it that way when you pass them.

How to Know if Your Man Loves You - Here Are Some Signs He Will Do Anything For You

Your man loves you;

1. If he respects you

It is difficult for a man to disrespect you if he loves you. Men who are in love don't neglect or abuse their lover.

2. If he is proud to show off with you

Men are creatures of pride. They take glory in showing off what they perceive as important and hold at high esteem. Don't be deceived if he says "I thought it might be too demanding asking you to join me in visiting my friends, parent...blah blah".

3. If he feels at home whenever he is with you

Men hardly give up their self. There is always that urge to hold back a part of them. So when your man feels very relax and back home around you, he probably has some plans for you both.

4. If he always tries to impress you

Guys are only good at putting up their best before they catch you. However, if they continue that way long after you have given them a chance then they love, or at least regard you highly.

5. If he is always excited to discuss your future together

The beauty of a future with you, for a man who truly loves you, can be very exciting to him. If he is passionate about his plans for both of you, it is more likely, he wants to be with you.

Though some time you might have a man who is not meeting up with the six, but that doesn't mean he is not in love with you. However, in summary, you can tell if your man still loves you through the way he treats you and feels whenever he is around you.

Simple Tips on Keeping Successful Relationships

My elder brother, Ken is one guy you will love to meet. Why? Simple: he understands the sensitivity of the human sense of importance and the desire to be appreciated. Yes! I have seen him around people; you just can't fathom his desire to make people happy and feel appreciated anytime they come around him. I have learnt, first hand, growing with him, that there are simple things you can do to make people glued to you- not because they become too dependent on you but because you help them bring out the best in them. This secret is what I will be exposing in this article.

1. Be patient with people:

One of the major causes of misunderstandings in relationships is impatience. Impatience denies you the opportunity to figure out why people do the things they do and how to prevent their actions from hurting your relationship with them. If you can discipline yourself to be patient with people, especially as it concerns their views and actions, you will come to see that people hardly mean bad.

When next you are tempted to rush into conclusions, try to calm your nerves for a while; you might see things from another better perspective. Once, I went back to school, unknowingly, with an important item of Ken's. I was so scared when I discovered it in school - I had asked him severally, in vain, to give me the item. So I presumed he must have concluded that it was an intentional act. There were no mobile phones then and visiting day was over a month away. Somehow, I got over the guilt but what baffled me most was that when I came back 3 months later; he welcomed me home and acted as if it never happened.

Consequently, I was compelled to discuss the issue with him. When I told him how I never intended to steal away with the item, he simply smiled and said he knew. According to him, "Larry, I decided to believe you couldn't have desired to hurt me and that there must be some form of explanations for what happened". I was shocked! But that is ken for you. You can borrow a leave from Ken, and let time sort out certain issues with people. You will be surprised the level of success you will record with people.

2. Create ease around you:

It is beautiful for people-even strangers- to feel free and welcomed around you. Ken told me that one of his strong success factors with relationships is that he "lends a hand of friendship the instant he meets people". How? He simply refuses to be too conscious of the impression he could make on anybody. This attitude made him easy going with people, so when people meet him they just "see through him- no barriers". "You need to cultivate a free mind to operate on this level", he says.

Persist on letting people have their way around you- make them feel at home with you. All it takes is to be keenly interested in them, even if you are just meeting them for the first time. Listen to what they have to say; their views and follow up on any conversation you have with them. Laugh at their jokes, pat their back- if necessary, make sincere compliments... and hail them when they deserve it. The problem is that people are too mechanical; they want everything to be formal at the first meeting. It will do a lot of good to be different.

3. Respect people:

People don't deserve to be respected only because they are older than or better placed than you alone. Also, they don't have to earn your respect. People are to be respected primarily because; they are humans with emotions, vision, desires... because they are people like you. The past century featured the greatest disrespect for live and nature; with all the wars and abuse of power. This has affected the relationship between nations of the world- everybody is just hanging on. You don't want this to happen in your relationship; I assure you. Even the elevator person on your way up the office and the beggar on the street deserve to be respected without any prejudice.

Disrespect is not something you can hide; it doesn't take long to know those who don't respect us and we are always feeling unfulfilled around them. Ken's secret of respecting people lies in his conviction that all people are created equal. Now, you don't have to believe that but you need to understand that your fellow humans deserve to be respected- especially if you want to enjoy a great network of friends.

4. Learn to be nice:

Nothing puts people off better than selfishness. When you hear people say "I like this guy, he is nice", know that the nice guy must have at least, given up his interest or something of value, once, for that of the observer. It is rare to meet a truly nice guy since it usually requires a great deal of selflessness but if you must be successful with people then you need to learn to be nice.

Ken's secret on this tip is simple: being patient with and interested in people helps him to be nice to them. According to him, it is easier to care for people when you can tolerate them. If you must be successful with people, you will have to accommodate their shortcomings and open your heart to respond to their problems.

5. Keep in touch

I have lost quite a number of relationships because of an unhealthy bridge in communication. The most painful was that of my university heart-throb; a six-month strike action separated us. We had tried to keep in touch earlier in the break, however, I was not filling up my own part of the equation and soon it appeared as though I was not interested. Before, the strike was called off the relationship had grown stale- I couldn't even help it when I tried. As someone who is interested in grooming successful relationship with people, you should always show them you need them around. Make calls, write, and visit, if you can. Don't just stay out long.

Thank God for the advancement in information communication, with social sites, chat, forums and blogs you can keep in touch with your loved ones and friend. You can even share pictures and videos over thousands of miles in a jiffy. Of recent, a friend of mine sent me a U-tube video of his child's naming ceremony; it took place in South Africa, I was in Nigeria; I felt among.

Honestly, it requires a great deal of sacrifice to groom a successful relationship, no matter its nature, but with some dedication and a keen desire, it can be achieved. It may also be time consuming but you must understand that it is important you have strings of successful relationships. An African adage has it that "He who have people is better than the man with money".

She Likes Me - Five Signs She's Interested

Most girls will do anything to avoid being regarded cheap; even if it means missing a guy they got to like at first sight. Some have perfected, over the years, the great skill of masking their true feelings for guys that come around them, fearing their feelings may give them away so cheaply. In fact, girls, most times, do not mean what they do or say, when they are around guys they may be interested in.

This makes it difficult for a dude to tell when there is a "green light" and that is why you can wait in vain hoping to figure out what message your next shut is trying to pass when you come around. However, there are some observations that can guide you to spot when it is more convenient and safer- if you like- to say "Hi!" or "Hello!" If you want to find these tips out and save yourself, some hassle read on.
More often than suspected a girl is interested in or likes you if:

1. She acts as if you don't exist when you are around her

My friend, girls are more conscious of anything entitled to an opinion around them, than you can ever realize. They are seriously interested in what you are thinking of them especially when you are just Ok. So, if they pretend not to notice you, it is very likely they are trying to impress you. Unfortunately, most of the girls don't know the attitude is a scarecrow for some well-intentioned guys- don't join the bandwagon; make a move before it's late.

Tips: Some girls are just rude, blank and indifferent; watch out. You will know the real thing if you are very observant.

2. Her body language gives her up

Some girls can't help catching a glimpse of a guy that has stricken a cord in them. Most times, they do it to see if he is looking their way especially when there are other beautiful girls around. According to EzineArticles expert Author, Derek Rake, "a girl who exchanges a 2-secs gaze with you has seen you and tagged you". If you are lucky to meet another gaze, then you must act fast or risk her thinking you are a spineless coward.

Tips: Don't read it wrong; not all gazes mean "you can come for me", some could mean "I hope you don't think you can have me".

3. She tries to be unnecessarily difficult with you

Guys are use to giving up when they should be changing gears in the wooing race- most of them assume it is safer that way. But, some tough girls will try to discourage or embarrass you to test your tolerance or confidence. Nobody wants to go out with a liverless chap! Unfortunately, some guys are programmed to bail-out with their tails between their legs, with the slightest threat of embarrassment- too bad. However, you need to show such girls that you are tough and wouldn't mind risking your reputation to get her. When you do this well, she will give up trying to scare you off and then you can have her ears.

Tips: Some places are not just worth getting embarrassed in except you are sure you can remain in control.

4. She is always showing up wherever you go

If you think, it is mere coincidence that you keep meeting a particular girl in every- "un-linkable"- place you go to, especially when it has not been long since you first met, then you better have a re-think. Come on!; she was there at your nieces naming ceremony last month, last week you met her at a friend's send forth, two days before you bumped into her at the shopping mall and just yesterday her boss sent her to your firm to sign some papers in your office. Where has she been since before you met her over a month ago? Girls can set up an opportunity to meet you if they want to- you will just think it was a coincidence. I tell you, I have had a couple of related experience; I must confess: I felt foolish when I realize it had been a game all the while.

Tips: Nothing is what it seems; people can't just be out of place for nothing. This one code has kept intelligence agencies and commissions in business all these years.

5. She gets jealous and paranoid when she finds you around the female folks

Don't feel too bad when a girl gets offensive and tries to ridicule you amongst her friends, especially when she finds you around other girls. She could even go as far as making you uncomfortable and irritated but just keep your head. I have seen many relationships that started out that way. The girl in question might just be craving for your attention and she could condemn you publicly to reduce the competition for you. This is very common with college girls. Honestly, girls find it very difficult to conceal their jealousy and most time they are helpless; some become paranoid- all to get the least recognition from you.

Tips: Girls beware of a friend who condemns your boyfriend- she might be gunning for your throne!

Happy Love life!