1. She: “Is my bikini Beautiful, Musa?”
Almost every woman will rather choose to wake up from a Dracula nightmare and meet Obasanjo giggling beside her in bed than not hear her man tell her how cute she looks, after she had done well to make him wonder at how lucky he is to have a woman with her looks. Some guys self????? They are just too blunt; they can’t feel it and they can’t even see it. She needs you to tell her she is beautiful; she probably spent hours at the mirror…she didn’t mind – it was all about you, her man and baby. Then you come up just mopping or probably pretending not to see what God had placed in your hands, until she had to ask for your opinion!
2. Emeka: “But I love you more than I love her!”
Some women can get their hearts “jacked” with the faintest thought of sharing their man. Any woman (not sure of Muma G oh!) could share their makeup kit and even wears; some can even give up their jewelry to an enemy; but very few (if they exists at all) can bear the thought of borrowing their man even to a sister – whether of the womb or in the lord; talk more of share him. However, when shit happens – like it always does, (a) they rather pretend it never did, (b) decide not to believe, (c) better still, believe it won’t happen again or (d) more complicated, all of the above. Those options are better (for some) than accepting they are sharing their man – a very scary fate. It doesn’t change much even when you try to get to understand how much better you love them.
3. Jude: “Baby! [Yes!], You don’t cook well”
Somebody once told me that you could make a fantastic cook out of a woman-concoctionist (need the word for a second please) if you just find something good to say about her pot art, which would normally pass for a poison-of-a-meal. Now, I have observed that irrespective of an infamous disposition towards the pot and its content, no woman wants to be labeled a bad cook. I don’t think you want to keep telling her how bad she cooks. You don’t want her thinking that living with you was a nightmare, do you?
4. Brother: “Sister please Meet Mr. Wrong”
Meeting Mr. Right use to be something of an obsession for girls; In fact, back then when women were girls, any girl could describe to you a digital picture of her dream dude even if she had just been woken up. They are very good at that – just as they as so bad at meeting Mr. Wrong. If you just said “Permit me to introduce you to Mr. Wrong!” and then peep into her mind to see what was cooking, you will almost knock over a portrait with lucifer’s horns, Busta’s Mouth, Mr. Beans eyes, Great Khali’s leg, Mr. Ibu’s belly…I mean you could just bump into a beast in her mind when she hears you say Mr. Wrong; even if you had mentioned wrong without the ‘r’. Funny enough some girls grow up still having the “my-prince-to-the-rescue’s” picture in their mind.