Tuesday, 16 November 2010

HOW TO STOP YOUR MAN FROM CHEATING: The Very Weird but Very Workable Way

Any man can cheat for any reason – you can even find those who do it just for fun; but for most men; cheating on their spouse is a game – a game of wits, smartness and a tussle of freedom…then you have those that are just being stupid! Now gals, you are most-def going to learn the how from this piece – it is not every day you get to read stuffs like this from a former chronic cheat, who at a point was a spouse to a devoted woman and yet had dozens of women to make out with!

This piece is more like a testimony than it is a self-help article but by the time you are through with it, you must have learnt some of the world’s most guided secrets of proactive seduction and vengeful persuasion. Now you don’t have to believe any of my recommendations; just try them out, after all: if they fail, your guy still remains a cheat (no offense intended) – at least you got a chance.

But let me warn you and probably help you with a resolution I stumbled upon on the internet: “the truth is that there is really nothing you can do to stop your man from cheating. No matter how much you fret or check up on him, if a man wants to cheat, he will”. Now I guess you are wondering, ‘so, why the title; a hype?’ Not really; what most women do is to tell (and they usually have so many ways of doing this) their men to stop cheating on them. This hardly helps matters for these guys just go on and do the opposite! So the tips in this article are a little out of the ordinary but they worked against me; not only am I now devoted to my woman, I’m working towards helping women like you curb guys like the former me.

The first thing you need to do is: let your man know you are aware he is cheating on you; and that you can’t waste a puff for that. The urge to cheat is promoted by deception and the desire to deceive; when he knows you know and don’t mind, he can only last a while as a cheat. Especially when he can’t figure out what is cooking up in your mind. Some guys, at this point, will start thinking you are even into the game with them and the fear of the unknown will eventually freak them out and into paying more attention to; and guide you more closely. But hey, you need to see the red button on this: If he thinks rather that you are just being weak or scared of opposing him; then you have yourself a situation. You must convince him you don’t really care; both for what he is doing and for what he thinks about your indifference.

The next tip is a little bit weird. I say: if you know his fields, go there and plant mines that will discourage his team mates from running around with him. For instance; if he sleeps around with women at his place of work; plant a rumour in his block that he is HIV positive or has some very scary STDs. Make sure he can’t trace this rumour to you, then sit back and watch; in fact people around will start pitying you and his mates will fly for their lives. You can also get contract seductress to lure him, and scare the hell out of his life. She can blackmail him against someone he fears, or another who respects him or even an institution he might be scared to show that aspect of his life to. When all this gets on his nerves he will run to you and hold on; as you are supposedly the only woman who can protect him. Be glad to welcome him like a prodigal son!

Now you know he is a cheat; the next thing is for you to find out why he is cheating on you. Are you denying him something; or is he just insatiable? Are his friends responsible for this? Could you tell if he had always been like that – may be you knew but decided to manage him, hoping you will change him? Is he trying to get your attention; or is he drowning in the much you are providing? Or worst still is he just a perpetual cheat…an uncommitted brute? Whatever; when you find out why, stop everything you are doing that had encouraged or is encouraging his habit.

Sunday, 24 October 2010


Have you ever wondered why things aren’t going the way they should or the way you expected when you decided to hook up with your spouse? I mean, it’s been like ages since you saw the sun rise on your hitherto rosy, perfectly romantic relationship…or maybe it was never that good, and you can’t just place your fingers on the WHY! Do you find it hard to point out where things started off wrong, and even when you seriously wish it all goes back fine, you find your hands so tied you can’t even make any move? If you do, then you need to stick your eyes on your screen for a few minutes more…I think I can help you with some good tips.

First, I need you to ask yourself the following questions:

1. What got me into this relationship?
2. Why was I so convinced I could get the above from this relationship?
3. What was I willing to share with or sacrifice for my spouse when I decided to hook up with him or her?
4. How much have I done to fulfill these things in 3 above?
5. What do I want from my spouse now?
6. What does my spouse want from me now?
7. Does my spouse have what it takes to give me what I want now?
8. Do I have what my spouse wants from me now?
9. Have I told my spouse what I want from him or her presently?
10. Does my spouse know what I want from him or her presently?

You don’t have to rush these questions, just be sincere with yourself and get the answers written down.

However let me point out that you need a more defined answer for each question, for instance in the first question; it will not be helpful to say you got into your present relationship because of ‘love’ – I tell you almost everybody do or at least – think they do! You need to define instead, what you thought finding love will do for you.

The second item on my menu is a simple task;

I need you to send a copy of these questions to your spouse, tell them your purpose first and then, invite them to discuss your answers and theirs with you. You will be surprised at how much you never knew about yourselves and very possibly, you could set a stage for a better and more matured relationship with your Romeo or Juliet.

Good Luck Guys and Gals!

Friday, 22 October 2010


1. She: “Is my bikini Beautiful, Musa?”
Almost every woman will rather choose to wake up from a Dracula nightmare and meet Obasanjo giggling beside her in bed than not hear her man tell her how cute she looks, after she had done well to make him wonder at how lucky he is to have a woman with her looks. Some guys self????? They are just too blunt; they can’t feel it and they can’t even see it. She needs you to tell her she is beautiful; she probably spent hours at the mirror…she didn’t mind – it was all about you, her man and baby. Then you come up just mopping or probably pretending not to see what God had placed in your hands, until she had to ask for your opinion!

2. Emeka: “But I love you more than I love her!”
Some women can get their hearts “jacked” with the faintest thought of sharing their man. Any woman (not sure of Muma G oh!) could share their makeup kit and even wears; some can even give up their jewelry to an enemy; but very few (if they exists at all) can bear the thought of borrowing their man even to a sister – whether of the womb or in the lord; talk more of share him. However, when shit happens – like it always does, (a) they rather pretend it never did, (b) decide not to believe, (c) better still, believe it won’t happen again or (d) more complicated, all of the above. Those options are better (for some) than accepting they are sharing their man – a very scary fate. It doesn’t change much even when you try to get to understand how much better you love them.

3. Jude: “Baby! [Yes!], You don’t cook well”
Somebody once told me that you could make a fantastic cook out of a woman-concoctionist (need the word for a second please) if you just find something good to say about her pot art, which would normally pass for a poison-of-a-meal. Now, I have observed that irrespective of an infamous disposition towards the pot and its content, no woman wants to be labeled a bad cook. I don’t think you want to keep telling her how bad she cooks. You don’t want her thinking that living with you was a nightmare, do you?

4. Brother: “Sister please Meet Mr. Wrong”
Meeting Mr. Right use to be something of an obsession for girls; In fact, back then when women were girls, any girl could describe to you a digital picture of her dream dude even if she had just been woken up. They are very good at that – just as they as so bad at meeting Mr. Wrong. If you just said “Permit me to introduce you to Mr. Wrong!” and then peep into her mind to see what was cooking, you will almost knock over a portrait with lucifer’s horns, Busta’s Mouth, Mr. Beans eyes, Great Khali’s leg, Mr. Ibu’s belly…I mean you could just bump into a beast in her mind when she hears you say Mr. Wrong; even if you had mentioned wrong without the ‘r’. Funny enough some girls grow up still having the “my-prince-to-the-rescue’s” picture in their mind.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Why I called It Quit with Debie, My Fiancee

Sometimes it is difficult to let go someone you love but what if you had enough reasons to? Or what if someone thinks you don't, after you did? Read this short story and tell lovebirdsguide what you think.

Debie was everything I could ever ask for in a woman. But that was what I thought few years ago when we met in U/rimi Kaduna. It was at a friend’s book launch. It wasn’t long before our relationship steamed up. We had all the good times couples with our means could afford, but little did I know that it was all going to end so soon. For starters, I am the commitment-type of guy and I respect relationships a lot.

I thought that attitude would keep us flying, since she was also in for the relationship (or so I thought). We got down to real business months later when I told her I wanted to settle down and raise a family with her. A couple of weeks before I engaged her I discovered she had taken in even though we hadn’t seen each other in a long while.

When I asked her how she got the ‘life’ forming in her stomach, she told me she was raped two months before. I was shocked! She hadn’t told me of the incidence before then and I thought that was very unusual; we always shared our bad and good. However, I tried to excuse her silence on her unstable mind. She told me it happened while she was in school and that the boys were cultists. I was sad and guilty. She must have gone through hell. I kept biting my conscience especially when I didn’t share her pains with her. So we decided on what to do – we agreed to keep the baby but not until she had ran some tests.

Life continued as usual until one very sad day. I woke up happy and feeling good; she was about 6 weeks pregnant. I never knew the day was going to be a nightmare. When I got a call from a colleague at work, who had just been promoted, to attend his emergency thanksgiving party I looked forward to a happier day. The party was to hold in his family house very close to the Obalande slum – a popular hangout for sex workers in Kaduna.

That evening, I drove with Kelechi – my club mate – to the venue. On our way there we decided it was going to be a good idea to stop close by for a drink. We got to a bar, just adjacent the obalande main street and that was when I saw a sight I still can’t believe wasn’t a dream. My honey and fiancée-in-wait was hovering over a small but rich-looking Alhaji. The world and even the gulp of cold Heineken flowing down my throat stood still. I spitted some drink and pointed towards her like a child who just saw a ghost.

“KC...KC”, I called looking for the right word.

“What’s that; why did you spit out your drink like that?” He asked embarrassed. I didn’t have to answer that as he followed my fingers and as his eyes settled on the target; he dropped his glass so had the owner of the bar had to shout
“Make una no Break my cup oh!”

“Williams, isn’t that your Fiancée?” It was his turn to shout.

I didn’t have an answer to his question; I stood up and walked towards the two. My honey was three-quarter necked and she clang to the Alhaji as though if he left her for her peers, she would drop dead that night.

KC called on me to come back, but that was what I thought he was saying; I couldn’t even hear the flow of my breath. I didn’t even know what I was going to do when I met the two. Few steps before them, she turned and the fear in her eyes was in itself scary.
“Baby!” She shouted.

“Baby!!” I was just walking towards her and before she shouted my pet-name the third time, she fainted. The Alhaji slipped into his Xj jaguar and zoomed off. I rushed to pick her up; as I held her in my arms I knew it would be the last time to feel her soft skin. KC came to join me and we drove her back to my apartment. She was ok before we got home but we couldn’t discuss the shock. I woke up the next morning and that was when I knew it was never going to work between us. I called off the engagement; I called it quit.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

What Women want: Find this out and rule your world

Two nights ago in a snooker club, while on a blackball-chase with Jumoke, my snooker-freak friend, she told me she is a tripper for pointed-nosed and bright-eyes guys and wouldn’t mind if they haven’t got any other thing to flaunt. “Larry, you see, I don’t mind if they are physically built or not, especially if he is free-minded”, she said taking a cushion shot. It was all about the guy that played before we did; he was her perfect man. As we drove back home that night, after she whopped me on 4-balls, I wondered what women really wanted. Especially when I had met women who are ready to go to the ends of the world with you even if you as broke as the proverbial church rat. Then it is quite common to find others who wouldn’t return a smile if it is not coming from your jaw-dropping-cost blings or if your car wouldn’t stir a “look at that!” Then you have my fiancée who would go crazy if I don’t get her a stalk of rose on my way home any day, even if I tried to bribe her with a bottle of her best Champaign; and my Sister-in-law has an obsession for a listening ear. It all makes me wonder what women really wanted. Is there a single-all-inclusive want for every woman? You would ask, if you were me. Yes? No? Well not now, just read on. Let me first say that the heart of a woman is deep, unstable, hence, very unpredictable; however, every woman you see around can’t deny she needs certain things.

The foremost need of most women is “attention” and if you meet this need, she will be spell-bound to you. A natural woman could do anything to get the attention of her man, when she really needs it. It is an important need because, to her, it is a measure of her worth in his eyes; she wants his world to revolve around her. It is one need she can never get satisfied of; in fact, the urge increases with time- so long as she is in love with you. This doesn’t really means she would want you around her all the time, but when you are not there, she needs to be assured she is hung around your neck where ever you go. She wants to know you are always there; and that you can expend your time on her.

Most women need their man to treat them like his a goddess; they want him to revere them and show them top-notch devotion and they will mind for anything less. I am not saying that women have domineering tendencies; but in as much as they can’t have you to themselves, they want you to show them you understand that they own you. You must have observed that a woman might condone it when you cheat on her but will find it difficult to stay with you if you make her feel you have the right to have any other woman beside her. This is because such position hurts their pride but they can live with your unfaithfulness if they know you still recognise the superiority of ownership they have over you.

I have hardly met any woman who don’t crave for her man’s respect; especially African and Asian ones. To most women, respect seats at the top of their ‘what women wants’ list. There is always that recognition of self-worth in every woman; except off course, she had traded hers to satisfy other ‘pressing’ needs. When a man respects his woman, he gives her a second thought each time his bubbles burst. For most women, respect is an important word in the language of love; so if you don’t respect them they, probably, aren’t flowing with whatever you are saying.

Then you have the controversial SEX. Yes! S.E.X; most women will give anything to get satisfactory sex from their lover. Though some are shy to accept this, they know it is the truth. Good sex creates a strong sense of fulfilment and self-discovery when it is shared with a special person. When she says ‘he makes me feel like a woman’; watch out, she might just be passing a message. I have seen so many marriages crash because somebody was ignorant of this simple truth about his woman; or probably was aware but decided to ignore it. In fact, researches have shown that why most women trip for the machos is because of the unspoken promise of good sex; for such women the bigger the better. Anyway I must say that this particular need is strictly ‘bi-sexual’.

Another quite insatiable need of a woman is comfort. Every woman will go for a man who could make her comfortable all things being equal. This would mean that a woman will love it if her man can make her physically relaxed by providing her basic needs without having to put her through avoidable stress or pain. In Igbo land a woman will submit to you as a wife if she notices that you can provide for her; give her a roof over her head, feed her and her children, cloth her and meet most of her numerous (in fact countless) needs.

This brings me to another need that is infused into that of comfort; women wants protection and security. No woman wants to be stranded in life; theirs’ is an obsession. A woman likes to be sure of whatever she is going into. She also needs a man that can convince her that he knows where he is taking them to and even if things go wrong he will always be in charge. Besides, she wants to be sure that someone has got her back and that her man can protect her from anything; even those things she is sure is naturally above her.

The list continues; you can’t have all of them now. But with the above listed needs you are good to go. However, watch out for others on my lovebirdsguide blogger site. But let mention that the basic needs of a woman isn’t the only thing to bother about; you also need to find out when they need them. It is important you know these because a great percentage of what determines your success in this phase of life could be tied around your success with the female folks. You can do some researches to verify this.

Good luck and fly high always!

Thursday, 8 April 2010


Its valentine and every body is getting hooked up or laid. There is so much love in the air; so much expectations...its the worst time to be lonely or to see who you want and not be able to get hold of them...everybody is celebrating love but to do this, you must first meet and claim love...most times its a within-a-jiffy thing, at other times you have all the time in the world but the 14th is just about 96hrs away! So I am reposting this article to give you an edge if you happen to bump into your dream girl soon...lets get down to business

Most girls will seriously consider you, if you can masterfully pass the “I want you” message to them. That is, if you can let them know how much you want them without making fusses of the art- without making either of you look stupid. Girls like men who are good communicators; guys who know what to say or do at the right time. Personally, I have observed that most guys that get an outright “No”, especially when they had just bumped into the girl, had such fate because someone was trying to save her face or the embarrassment. However, if you can spare the time to master certain skills of communication, you will maintain the winning side. So how...?


Whenever you bump into a girl, who gives you some tickle, get out of sight and do some fast thinking. As long as you keep her in sight you might not be able to find a good starting line. Your mind will be occupied either with oh she is beautiful, Does she recognize me? Or I might embarrass myself. Once out of sight, tail her- you know that old teenage game? Yes follow her, even if you have to change your route or wait on her. Take the time and study her; observe something special about her or her looks. It must be spectacular or you find a way to make it seem spectacular. After all, we all can decide what is spectacular to us- it’s a perception thing.


You remember the high school crash style- where the boy crashes into the girl, spills her books and helps her pick them up, while showing up his nicest self and playing the eye game? It still works; it’s one great entry strategy and I don’t know its inventor, but I admire it. Anyway, in the real world you might get smacked if you pull that kind of stunt- especially when most people move around either hungry or angry these days. But you can develop a strategy for yourself; try it out a couple of times and see how it works, then develop it.

For instance, in my by-the-roadside strategy; I walk up to the Sweetie with an I-don’t-know-the-way-and-I-am-lost face and ask for the way to a Block very close by- but out of sight. I act more confused as she describes the place until I get her to spare some time to at least take me towards a pointing distance. Once I can secure that, the rest is history. Sometime I would spend the short walk appreciating her help and saying something striking about that spectacular thing I observed in her, at other time, I could cook up a story of how I once got lost and almost got into trouble in another corner of the town. Anyway, I don’t give up myself or plans, rather the sincerity of my gratitude and the fuelling passion in me, always made me very convincing. You can take time to develop a strategy for yourself. But remember that every plan must have its situation.


Tell her your name in such a way that she would be compelled to tell you hers. Don’t ask her directly! You could get an “I don’t think that will be necessary” or more politely, “Sorry, I don’t think that will be necessary”. If you had succeeded in getting her to do you a favour, like in the instance above then be sure she will be ready to path with you on a good note. She wants to prove to you that she is as friendly and helpful as she had portrayed when she offered to help you. About her contact, it might be difficult to get her address, except off course the Chemistry is mutual, but you can get her number if you play smart. I remember once, after setting up a favour from a lady, I said, “If you don’t mind, you can save me a lot of guilt. I will remain guilty and indebted to you, if I don’t call you up later to say thank you.” If she is more receptive I can even ask “Do you mind if I check you up when next I come around here, at least to show some gratitude”. More often than not, I get an affirmative- maybe is my faith, maybe I have been lucky. Whatever; it doesn’t hurt if you try -who knows you might just get lucky.

Oh yes! you will need to BREAK UP THE TENSION:

Most people love to have a smooth conversation with people they just met- you know; the kind of talk you hear in the movies. Where every word, expression and gesture just fits in. It creates ease; offloading both parties of the natural tension when strangers meet. You can say something extraordinary and open-spirited- especially when it is least expected. She will love it when she can see through you; when she senses you are free-minded and warm. It assures her that she can find a friend in you, and then there is a possibility she would come to feel she has known you for years- a great achievement in whole game.

When it is safe, tell her how much you hope to see her again. I will tell you when it is safe to do that; in fact, you will find out before the end of this paragraph but before that. Tell her, that there are so many other truths, about your meeting, you’d love to reveal to her but can’t, for then, as it might not be safe to that. Arose her curiosity; make her float in the anticipation of the unknown. Let her understand only enough to want to know more and I tell you, you will see the Eve in her. Hey! It’s not fool-prove: nothing is these days; but if it works, it will be magical. The worst anticipatable is that she will feign no-interest but you will have made a bold note in her already puzzled mind. About when it is safe to do this: do it when you observe you have not been a put-off and that she would rather excuse herself than embarrass you. We guys, we know when it is safe anyway. We just feel it. Right?

If you don’t want to be hooked then BUILD A FORMIDABLE EXIT PLAN:

Sometime the last impression sticks harder than the first, so try and make your exit strategy remarkable. We are in a busy world and most people are so. Soon, they forget how it all began. Also, when you showed up, you probably wasn’t worth listening to but a chat later, you earn the girls interest and she wants you to remind her of what you said earlier. She could be like, “sorry, what did you say your name was again?” or “I didn’t get your name”. It is like in a job interview: you have hope when someone in the panel asks for your name after the interview or in prospecting; when a prospective buyer asks for your business contact when you are through with your proposal, even though you had said it when you first walked into their office. Your aim here is to scribble a lasting impression on her mind as you take your leave.

Finally, the part I am always eager for: BUMP INTO HER AGAIN:

Yes! Plan a natural meeting again; especially when you couldn’t get her contact the first time. If you really are serious with the Mami, you will trail her and find out how you can stage another bumping into. Find out where she hangs out, works, shops, worships or/and passes time; then fix an unauthorized date with her. She won’t turn you down when you come over for some introductions; because then you will be coming as a closer stranger. However, if it doesn’t work out then, stage another one- soon she will start holding fate responsible. I wish you luck my guy!